AfterPunk

  Old now,  getting very old. Yeah. Privilege. Like any of you would know what that means. Yeah, he was the one everyone wanted to  be.  I was the only one left when he died. All those Hine weddings. When glamor isjust sad… Painting by Alex Lee. Still have it. You have 5K? I missed the ‘52 war. Not the ‘60 war over Nixon. Aren’t you something? Real life… When you hear me laugh, that’s Boppa. His laugh. When I lost my fear and acquired sociopaths as friends. Yeah. Korean doctor. Hospital ship. Told me I was brave. Guess I skipped the part about how he stitched my face.

  She thinks I should just drop all the writing shit. “You said it all already. Fuck’em.”  Know you don’t get it. I’m way way out there. All the crap Hemingway wrote about detecting one glass of wine in a writer’s voice, bullshit. Fitzgerald pretended too. When you’re like us, we write soused and lie about it.   I don’t write at all anymore except under the influence. It’s a way out of the humdrum. Where everyone lives every day is useless and dim. Why I was never able to become a “friend of Bill’.” Who was an asshole. (Felon and confidence man too btw)   We all know it hurts the ones who care about us. But the writing is the thing. What the loved ones never get. The ones who aren’t relatives of Faulkner, Cheever, or Dylan Thomas.    I’m way way  way  out there. After The Boomer Bible, Shuteye Town, and The Naked Woman where would you expect me to go?   Dulled myself down to write all the blogs. Sober is a thing I do to get along with others....

  Wasn’t David Geffen a world renowned scholar in his day? Of course he was: His philanthropic entry into the medical field did eventually run into a few problems. Nothing that can’t be fixed though. You may already be guessing the particular kind of ingenuity that might be brought to bear in some other state. There’s more… I wouldn’t dare tell you where I acquired this information. My personal community standards wouldn’t permit it. I suppose you’re on your own about what to infer from the above.

  Don’t judge a book by its hair color. The roots go a long way back, but the tradition somehow endures that blonde women are different. Whether it’s because of Marilyn Monroe, Judy Holliday, Sally Struthers, the Wayne Sisters on the Johnny Carson show, or all of the above, most of us have grown up with the stereotype of the ditzy blonde firmly embedded in the backs of our minds. We’ve been taught not to look to them for high intelligence or clearsighted vision of the future. Now, in our new progressive era, we finally have a chance to overturn that worn out cliché and see blondes as better than ditzy to some degree. Take the MSNBC Queen of Democrat optimism, Joy Reid. She has proven herself capable of seeing what no one else can see.  When others were spinning an opposite line, she recognized with eloquent passion that the Trump speech in the Bronx was an even worse bomb than every recent Disney movie: Every word drips with sneering contempt for the real dumb blond on the sce...

  Unretouched in any way May not be here much longer. 5’ 9” and when last I weighed me, 123 lbs. And not hungry. Not a strike, just an end to appetite of all kinds. I can barely walk. My knees and feet died years ago — too many corporate miles of airport transitways, concrete floors strode in cowboy boots (my bad…), and motorcycle spills. Yes, I still find a way to tipple. The only vice left to me, and the most well meaning in my circle want to take that away too. Without that, though, you wouldn’t have even this.  So how did I screw up literature and change the terrain for every writer after me? I invented AI writing software 30 years ago and pissed on all the conventions of fiction in existence at the time. Yeah. Actually wrote a system description in accepted McGraw-Hill format. From there it was easy to put a pistol to the head of all the lions of modern fiction. The software could copy them all because they had nothing to say. They were their own AI, repeating, repeating,...

  Totally unretouched. Already proved I’m married  to  an  Alpha , not a compliant female/rubber stamp.. Because it’s entirely possible I’ve had an impact in my life. In literature, in business, and personally. The ripple effect. Probably more than a few hundred thousand people have had their lives changed because I was here. Maybe a million all told. Tiny in the grand scheme of things, but way more than most. My millions are the living people, the conscious people. I had no children. Gave up on that idea early on. I will be the last Robert Fisher Laird in the three-generation legacy. No biological sons or daughters. End of my DNA line. Didn’t want anyone to follow in my genealogical footsteps. I tried to mentor successors. How did that work out? I chose young ones to challenge. Men and women both. Differently. Women, as always, still blooming and who knows? The men all wound up abjuring me, convinced they had found themselves in opposing me. One became a devout Fede...

A photo image unaltered except for lighting adjustments. The  reflections are not photoshopped, I took this pic staring at a  computer screen, and I didn’t fix my face, my wrinkled brow,  my vanishing hairline, or my cheap cock-eyed reading glasses. Part 1 In three months I’ll be 71. I have a wife I’ve been with for 20 years. Some days she can’t stand me. Some days she doesn’t want to live without me. I feel the same way about her. Opposites attract is a nice romantic premise but it usually disguises deeper affinities. My wife studied Math and German and Russian in college and I studied English Literature and History, and my language studies were in French, Latin, and Attic Greek. We quarrel about Latin because she knows the language of the Mass, and I know the language and pronunciation of Caesar and Vergil.  We’re both from Jersey, but different parts. Everyone in Jersey is from different parts. I come from below the Turnpike, where all the towns have been 60 perce...

I have the only print copy.140 pages of nothing but punk fiction. Enjoyed our conversation today. You seem like a new man. You’ve been to parts of the world I haven’t! But I’ve been to most of western civilization, from Paris to East Jesusville, Texas. Wanted to insist that I was sincere and sober in offering you the rights to my literary legacy. Willing to bet ten times your current net worth that I have been more productive in the last dozen years than Rob. Since he decided I was too drunk (Episcopalian/writer) to talk to I have produced a pretty staggering volume of work, all under the radar. Which might actually become valuable in the moment of my death. I told you about the books at Amazon . They’re the skimming off the top. There’s me at Facebook . Right now. In your face. Me being me this instant.  My satirical graphic skills on display. Also with links to my other sites. Check the friends, pictures, and video categories on my profile. Almost endless. Copy to your heart’s co...

  I can do a pome I can do  No womyn can No Eliot Pound neither Screwing the Ginsberg up the ass Because no womyn can She ain’t no LGBTQ+++  Just a womyn tits’n’ass Hole in her heart and crotch Don’t yell at me I’m the poet here the one where there’s no truth but only narrative and how dare you Except meaning be in turquoise and blare and asparagus and don’t make me get into quantum physics Because I can and you can’t The wave collapse function and the particles womyn never feel except inside their don’t use the awful word cunts As a world of wants Which are the whole center of quantum mechanics the hole that has to be filled How the universe got made Only not by ejaculation of god but fertilization of waiting seed You thinking I can’t be poeticalacious Born that way I used Vergil as Greek text in the ends of things that didn’t matter What I know you don’t Synesthesia is epiphany is serendicity is divinity Myths are real The sirens puncture the man He hears sees tastes th...